That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How does one acquire holy water?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
