Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
