Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
