once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
