Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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