I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
only you would photoshop your dick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
