it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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