Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
