In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
