like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Randomize
