If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
