Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
