And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
