I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
