idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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