I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
