can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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