I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
