Christians are straight up FREAKS
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
