I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
