Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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