Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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