I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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