And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
