spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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