I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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