Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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