I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
