My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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