There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
