U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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