By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
