Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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