He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
