yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
