I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
