Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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