paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
