it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
