If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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