After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
