Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
