I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
