no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
