I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
