I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
