It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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