oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
