My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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