I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
