Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
