You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's like God shit irony all over that family
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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