yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
